@sp331yi oh i can beat you on that one ... I read it quite literally ....ass burger...so was thinking context of my spiritual mentor Gino D'Acampo thinking i've had cheese burger, ham burger, beef burger and even Cherval burger in France. yep tasted em all ... so I was about to ask..how
Now if you think about live biological systems its pretty mundane stuff; keep blood pressure not to high not to low, sugar level- not too high not too low, heart rate- not too high not too low. Generally there is a feedback mechanism to get things back on track to a steady state
So the next one i will throw in is a way to look at responses what leads up to them and how you might might moderate them to not too but instead at an acceptable steady state. Its along the lines of cognitive behavioral therapy (cbt) , the core principal is not necessarily to fix underlying issues but to steer you to behave in an acceptable manner.
place holder add diagram(added)
use and explanation: so the diagram could be said to be a model showing factors that might influence responses to events.
Lets get the mood ( on the right) one out of the way first ; put simply its like a series of levels so of like the security services red alert and so on. What are the consequences ? well do you remember the electrician going to work on the tube in London shot dead on the tube . Red alert levels tend to be less time for consideration you could call it "trigger happy" at top and chilled at bottom.
Scenarios that tend to trigger extreme response tend to be related to " thats not going according how i think it should, my authority or ego is being challenged, they are doing that deliberatley against me personally" .
Now lets looks at couple of scenarios and see how it plays out.
Generally adults don't scream at a toddler learning to walk exclaiming something like " can you stop crashing into things and just get up and walk "! Nor when a puppy wee's on the floor do you scream " can you not go to the toilet left the lid and wee into the pan like your supposed to".
Your belief system has a bearing along the lines they are simply not able to do that , so its understandable why they are not doing it.
Sometimes we wrongly assume things that elicit unnecessary responses. My father had a saying "kids have a way of getting under your skin" he was a rather aloof person and of course I completely blame him for the emotionally damaged person, I am today ? :^ )
If you simply consider that kids, animals and other people are either incapable of behaving to your arbitrary standards its easier to have a philosophical view.
Now the model is not bad. it demonstrates areas to work on. Maybe take up meditation to control mood. Think whether its really about the other person and nothing pefrsonal against you etc.
In my expereince there is one flaw or caveate to the model and its this : in order to be able not to byepass the appraisal process , you have to catch yourself or count to ten
