Man you must be old! On a serious note, your biggest struggle would be to quickly get a convincing Windows VM setup (that didn't look like a VM and looked like a machine being used and not a fresh install). With a convincing machine for them to connect to you'd be looking at hours easily.I even have a landline.
Ha ha - I hadn't heard of party lines! I was born in the 80s so I grew up with a landline, but have never had a personal one since I moved out from my parents.
Yeah it looks quite remote, especially from a European pov. Is the landline/internet still OK? The telephone/fibre providers must baulk at installation costs assuming they have to pay them. BT often have to pay thousands to connect remote/new UK houses with a new fibre line. And you seem to be in an area the size of Scotland filled with trees and highways.Where I live, I barely get cell service. If you drive about five miles NW of me, you won't get a cell signal for about an hour's worth of drive time.
Look up Rangeley, Maine. I'm about 20 miles away from that.