Dave here! G'day everyone! I am most horrifically diseased and need to be cured!

Discussion in 'Member Introductions' started by Orsolia, Jan 30, 2014.

  1. Orsolia

    Orsolia New Member

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    I have joined this group because I want to rid myself of a really, very, most vile and nasty disease.

    It is a disease called 'Microsoft'.

    Symptoms include:

    1. Frequent headaches
    2. Spending more time and energy trying to coax functionality out of one's wordprocessing device than one has left to do what one wants to do: write stories both non-fictional and true; make pretty pictures and research one's intended creations
    3. Loss of appetite for life caused by chronic exhaustion
    4. Loss of wealth from repeatedly having to replace supremely dodgy software with the latest version of said supremely dodgy software
    5. Frequent daydreams pondering how many or how few of his hundreds of novels Isaac Asimov would have succeeded in writing had he needed to spend as much time, energy, money and focus trying to coax out a little bit of functionality from his typewriter as one must devote to coaxing a little bit of functionality out of MS malware
    6. Frequent romanticised pinings for one's old 1954 Remington Rand typewriter, for even with the fact that the letter 't' frequently became stuck and was impressed on the page half a line higher than the rest of the text, at least one enjoyed the practice of one's art whilst using it, taking out any frustrations (which were always artistic in nature, and never a result of technological failures) by slamming the heel of one's hand against that beautiful, big, stainless steel carriage return lever...
    7. Mood disturbances shifting from homicidal rage to nervous tics impelling one to beat one's head rhythmically against one's desk, wall or other hard and solid surfaces as one gutturally screams out in despair, sorrow and confusion
    8. With no criticisms intended towards those brilliant souls possessed of a calling to diagnose and correct computer problems, I am a writer, editor and photographic artist, not a repairman, goddammit! So there is resentment at being so frequently forced into becoming a computer diagnostician instead of the artist that is one's true nature
    9. Perpetual anxiety, worrying about whether one's entire life's work is about to be exterminated by the latest in a litany of ridiculous glitches and inexcusable foul-ups
    I hope I can find the answers I seek which will lead to a whole or partial cure.

    Thank you all.
    DevynCJohnson and ainteinstein like this.
  2. Richard Rodriguez

    Richard Rodriguez Member

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    three words, Ubuntu
  3. T Brownen

    T Brownen New Member

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    The cure my friend is an injection of Linux, then small application of same at intervals.
    Some nursing at first to ease the pangs of withdrawal, that soon go's away as the cure takes affect.
    After a little while of patience and care you will find you are stronger on all fronts, able to do most tasks with ease.
    Most important next to the cure is the cost, unlike before Mortgages are unnecessary as is bank loans, for the treatment is on the Free Health Service.
    Also included in the first injection is a inoculation against most types or virus and Bugs.
    Do Try it.
    I can recommend PcLinuxOs, Linux Mint, or Puppy.
    Your online micro Doctor
    DevynCJohnson likes this.
  4. ainteinstein

    ainteinstein Member

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    I know exactly your illness, Orsolia. I have just spent quite a few hours trying to find drivers for my old Canon BJC 1000 printer for Win 8.1. I need the printer because grrrrr..., the email can only be read by Office ( don't ask me why, that is how the grrrr college email a/c is set-up). But the good news? I know that the drivers exit for this printer in Linux, those I found.

    What I love about Linux? My old hardware, computer and printer, still have a life with Linux. There is an o/s to fit your needs not what someone else dictates your needs should be.

    And the best one, that I forgot to add, no more patch Tuesdays for crash Wednesdays.
  5. DevynCJohnson

    DevynCJohnson Well-Known Member Staff Member Staff Writer

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    I agree with Richard, I would prescribe Ubuntu.

    If Ubuntu does not help, then try Linux Mint, Fedora, or CentOS.

    All Linux distros are free (or at least 99.9999%), so you can get one even if you lack insurance. :D

    By the way, I really like your colorful and imaginative message. Most people just say, "which Linux do I choose?". You found a very entertaining way of asking. ;)
  6. Darren Hale

    Darren Hale Active Member

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    I pescribe a nice glass of wine and start with some live cd's of different distro's till you find your "Home" distro.

    Some good choices mentioned above - its about what works best with your machine.
  7. Archonsg

    Archonsg Member

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    To be fair, Linux isn't a cure-all and if truth be told, there are almost as much gnashing of teeth and hair tearing using linux as there are with that OS that shall not be named.

    Take me for example, until SteamOS gets trackion and more and more major games releases are made with Linux in mind, I am doomed to be a slave of Redmond.

    Also, you'll find that for as many older devices that just works on Linux, as many *new* devices don't.
    Driver issues, because companies can't be bothered to write for linux and /or Linux distro quirks causes can make customizing your linux experience a trial in patience that would make Mother Theresa weep.

    That said, I'd recomend Linux Mint (based on Ubuntu) for its simplicity, OpenSUSE if you want polish and an distro that has most of the bells and whistles out of the box install for an office/business environment or as many will suggest, Ubuntu itself as it is the most popular Linux flavor out there, though it's Unity UI is cause for many love/hate feels.

    Linux Newbie
    Windows 8 Refugee
    DevynCJohnson likes this.

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